What is confidence?
The dictionary definition of confidence is:
The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
My definition of confidence and the relation to this course is your ability to choose moment by moment who you want to be and what you want to do, despite any fears.
Its like that moment when you are at the cupboard and want a snack, and you’re conscious of the fact you’re about to choose for yourself. The, “Do I want the cookies?” or “Should I have a salad instead?” moment.
Life’s a series of courageous moments. Moments when you say to yourself, “I want that raise, and it’s time I had a conversation about getting it.” It’s when you know you need to do something you’ve never done before, and instead of putting it off, you face the challenge and do it anyway.
Ultimately, this is really what the 90-day career confidence course is about. What is it you want in life, and how do you keep making the courageous choices every day to get what you want.
It’s not easy, but the tools and the knowledge in this course will help you cultivate this courage. I can tell you that it does get easier and easier over time to work the muscle, but it’s just like working out. You still have to do the work to get the results.
Confidence is an active choice. Courage is a moment, and life happens as soon as you start living by making these courageous choices.
Here’s my story so you understand confidence hasn’t always been easy for me.
I did everything you were supposed to do in order to live the American dream. Good grades – check, amazing job – check, climbing up the corporate ladder – check, big house and 6 carts full of IKEA products to fill up that house, nice car (BMW) – check…check. But something was still missing – Fulfillment and Confidence. I wasn’t confident in who I was.
My Big AHA!
My big Aha moment was when a life coach told me I wasn’t confident and that I was buying my confidence. I was buying things and experiences in order to get people to like me. I was using my high paying tech career to impress others with my stuff instead of who I was.
She helped me realize that I wasn’t stepping into my fears and doing what I really wanted. From that moment I started facing my fears and learning from my mistakes. That led to leaving my high paying corporate job and becoming a life coach and writing my first book.
While on a speaking trip in Ecuador in 2015 I met Rafael Bejarano a shaman, world class didgeridoo player, and fellow coach. He walked this earth with a giant rubber chicken reminding everyone they are bigger than their fears and they can do anything they want if they step into their fears. He left them with a token to remind them. A tiny rubber chicken.
My journey led me to Portland Oregon where everything came full circle.
In September 2015 Rafael was killed in Egypt by their government in a mistaken attack on terrorists. I chose to carry on his message and remind others of their own greatness and that they can take their fears head on too.
I ordered my first batch of tiny rubber chickens to start giving back and making a difference in the world. The day the chickens arrived my confidence was tested. As I arrived back to my house from walking my dog I was alerted that my amazon package was delivered and left on the porch. However, when I got back to the house my package wasn’t there and it wasn’t inside the house either.
Then it dawned on me that the man pushing his bicycle down the street with amazon packages under his arms was NOT the UPS guy. I said to myself, “HE STOLE MY RUBBER CHICKENS!” I had to chase him down.
If this had happened three years earlier before my first coach telling me I wasn’t confident, I would have been a coward and just gave up and ordered more chickens online. But not that day. That day I grabbed my dog and chased the thief down.
I confronted him and asked if he had my package. He said no. I continued to look and saw my package and called him out on it. I opened my package and was instantly more upset because what was suppose to be 100 tiny rubber chickens for $31 was one single one-inch rubber chicken. Double whammy. Ripped off and then Robbed from.
I held the tiny rubber chicken up to his eyes and asked him, “What’s going on in your life that you’re stealing random packages off people’s porches?”
The moment changed from being about me to being about him and his life. He opened up to me and said four people in his life had died that year and he was strung out on drugs, his mom was strung out, and so was his girlfriend. They had gone homeless and turned to stealing to get by.
I listened to him and then encouraged him to return the rest of the packages he had stolen. I reached into my wallet and gave him the last 6 dollars I had on me and gave him my business card. I told him I’d be happy to help see if there’s anything I can do to help.
Since then I’ve been on a mission to inspire and empower 10,000 people to step into their fears and do what they love. If you’re reading this you’re now part of my mission, so thank you for taking the time to be a part of this.
I got my rubber chicken back and my money from amazon. More importantly, that was the day I discovered I had the confidence in me all along. I just had to do was choose it.
Choose courage and don’t be a chicken.